Man, Manhood and Masculinity: Judge me by this.

Scholars of masculinity discuss men and masculinity as socially constructed. Rather than focusing on biological universals, social and behavioral scientists investigate the different meanings that masculinity and femininity have in different contexts. While biological “maleness” varies very little, the roles, behaviors, bodies, and identities that are thought of as “masculine” vary enormously. This variation allows scholars to argue that masculinity is socially constructed. (Masculinity; Michael Kimmel, Tristan Bridges)

Masculinity varies historically—what is thought of as masculine changes over time.

2. Masculinity varies cross-culturally—conceptualizations of masculinity are culturally specific.

3. Masculinity varies intra-psychically—what it means to be a man changes over the course of one’s life.

4. Masculinity varies contextually—even within a given society and time period, masculinity can mean different things to different people.

Manhood and Resources

The scarcer the resources, the more the code of manhood is emphasized the more men need to be good at being men.

The code of manhood fluctuates according to the abundance of resources in a given society.

Men’s greater expendability, physical strength, and predisposition towards risk-taking, competition, and status-seeking are needed to procure hard-to-attain resources, and to protect them once they’ve been secured.

This results in an increase in the differentiation between gender roles, as a particular division of labor offers a survival advantage.

In Pre-Modern times, the 3 P’s of Manhood represented what societies needed most from men. They were the tenets of being good at being a man. Protection, procreation, and provision were the vital imperatives that helped societies all around the world survive and grow.

Protection- this served as the foundation for the code of manhood. Nothing else was possible if men failed in this charge.

Once the perimeter was secure, the population was growing steadily, and there was enough food and resources to feed the burgeoning tribe, men could then start to concentrate on cultivating higher virtues of character and spirituality.

Pre Civilization

As civilization spread and became increasingly complex,

what societies most needed from men were not fierce warriors or skilled hunters, but hard-working husbands, loving fathers, honest politicians, wise philosophers, and clever innovators.

The tactical virtues of strength, courage, mastery, and honor were lifted off the battlefield and applied more abstractly to the tasks of heading families, running governments, and building businesses.

Post Civilization

The new code of manhood still contained a requirement to cultivate courage, to marry and have children, and to provide for one’s family. But unlike the pre-modern version, this new definition of manliness wasn’t as directly related to anything unique about men’s biological make-up.

THE STAGES OF PSYCHO-SOCIAL DEVELOPMENT

Stage 1 - Boy/Girl: At this first stage your quest is to figure out “how does the world work?”, “Where do I fit”? We are the product of the socialization process but not necessarily in a linear model

Stage 2 - Male/Female: This is the adolescence years. Now you are largely defined by your external genitalia and internal hormone secretions. The process of finding a partner begins. Many don’t get pass this stage psychologically - resulting in a fixation on sex and sexuality, to the expense of the rest of their life.

Stage 3 - Man/Woman: You are now defined by your expression of independence and interdependence. You can sustain self and contribute to collective survival of family, tribe, nation, world.

I acknowledge that The Universe Conspires Against Males: This begins when the 1 egg is released for the month by a woman and unites with one of the millions of sperms produced by a man in the same month. Only the fittest of the fittest survives. Between conception and birth, reproductive waste is largely male. This struggle continues until death. With one exception (death at childbirth) - anything that kills people, kills more men than women: Men have higher death rates for all 15 leading causes of death; from accidents to AIDS. Men have to be conscious of not aiding this process and override it. Only the fittest of the fittest will survive.

These 20 Characteristics of an Evolved Man Are My standards.

1. A man is self-sustaining and resourceful He works towards being able to do everything required for his survival and sustenance.

2. A man understands that greater happiness lies in helping others, not helping himself.

3. A man doesn’t stand still while the world passes him by, he continually pushes himself.

4. A man is a leader

He does so in at least one aspect of his life, whether this means his family, with his friends or just in general. But he can also follow. Great Leaders know when to just shut-up! "One of the most important leadership lessons is realizing you're not the most important or intelligent person in the room at all times". - Alfred Campbell

5. He Processes life

This is done through the lens of HEAD (Sound Judgment) and HEART (Good Feelings - without Pathological Attachments). There is a reason why the head is located above the heart, sound reasoning should always take priority over good feelings. When you bring your head down to the level of your heart, we call that rationalization. When you elevate your heart to the level of your head, that is maturity and wisdom

6. A man has integrity:

This means he will stay true to his word and true to himself. If he tells you that he is going to do something, he will do it. This is also the kind of man you can rely on, knowing that he will always be there for you.

7. A man is A Protector:

A man should be able to protect himself and his family physically. He should be willing to do whatever it takes to keep his family safe and happy.

8. A man lives for something;

This is a purpose beyond his own personal gains. This can come with time, and with family. It doesn’t always happen right away. The most fundamental activity is helping his daughter to become an evolved woman and his son an evolved man.

9. He Knows when to hold,

when to fold, when to walk away, when to run.

10. Is Honest:

An honest man will tell you the truth and not just what you want to hear. He will tell you what he will do and how he feels about something. It’s true that brutal honesty can be offensive sometimes but it’s better to have a man that tells you the truth than one that fills you with lies.

11. Is Faithful To His Word:

Faithfulness may be one of the most important characteristics when it comes to great men. Men don’t cheat because they don’t feel loved anymore, they cheat because they need sex. Some men need to sleep with other women while others cheat because the sex is gone in the relationship.

12. A man takes pride

This ranges from how he looks to how he lives his life. He’s not ashamed by who he is, what he does or how he looks, even if he’s trying to change one of the aforementioned.

13. Is Mature:

Being mature means a man is able to care of himself and approaches problems with a calm and collected manner. He understands the importance of being a man, being independent, and values what he has. A mature man doesn’t have to be rich but needs to know how to handle his money. Also, a mature man will be able to carry himself in a public setting in a respectable manner and understands his adult role.

14. Has a Positive Attitude:

A good man should have a positive attitude which may be difficult to find since we live in such a negative society. With a positive attitude, people will want to be around him and to have fun around him. A good man will be happy with his life and the world around him and he will want to look out for others and to help them. A negative person will always be complaining and seeing the bad side to everything and after a while they can be very hard to be around and they tend to turn you into a negative person also.

15. Is Self-Confident:

A good man will be confident in himself and who he is. This is an important characteristic of a good man because when they are self-confident, they are less likely to change who they are and to stay true to themselves. A man with self-confidence will not be deterred from what he believes to be true and will not be easily pressured into doing things that he does not believe in. Self-confidence makes a man happy and fun to be around because he will not be constantly questioning himself or others around him.

16. A man learns from his mistakes.

Although he might take a few cracks at it. Mistakes are proof that you are trying. You will make them once in a while. Mistakes are meant for learning, not repeating.

17. A man does what is necessary.

Even if it’s the hardest decision or the most unpopular one.

18. A Man Should be Financially Sound

A characteristic of a good man isn’t that he makes a lot of money, but that he handles his money well. He does well with what he has.

19. A man thrives on competition.

He knows that constant competition against others can make you BITTER, but continuously competing against your lesser self makes you BETTER.

20. Is A Gentleman:

A great man needs to be polite, respectful, considerate and attentive to a woman’s needs. This also includes the classic gentleman behavior such as pulling a woman’s chair, walking on the car side of the street, taking her coat etc. If all men were gentlemen we would live in a better world. Today, things are not like that making the mans that have this quality stand out.

PS 1: Males Rompers: This is just a Marketing Gimmick that will not last. Furthermore, men don’t ‘romp’.

PS 2. Pants pon waist: An evolved man is very careful and selective with whom he exposes his underwear to and when to do so.

 

Published by: Dr. Leahcim Semaj, Chief Ideator